do not underestimate the power of baking soda.

i can't help but think this photo was somehow foreshadowing to the next mornings events.

this post comes to you bleary-eyed and possibly just short of delirious. i promise you nothing but rambling information and updates coming forth like a tsunami.
we survived yesterdays st. patrick's day pub crawl, which began promptly and appropriately at 3:17 PM. i'm certain that you, dear reader, do not have the time nor interest for me to recount the exploits of the night. i bowed out by 10:30 PM, mainly to extract adam from what was quickly becoming an outing ending in a night by the toilet. i had also tired of the non-stop parade of cringe-worthy human behavior that is witnessed when you spend too much time in bars as a half-sober person.
we left our friend tara at the bar, arranging that she would find her way back to the hotel with the assistance of some trusted folks. we of course could not drag her away, she being a professional irish drinker, especially considering that she still had three assorted shot concoctions lined up at the bar. i gave her my best wishes for "success" and steered my tipsy husband back to the awaiting hotel room. i said to adam, although he didn't likely understand or retain, that i felt it very likely that i would venture back out into the morass of drunkenness to find tara later in the night.
after coercing adam to at least brush his teeth before falling face down on the bed, i sent a text to tara to check if she was still with her chaperones and hadn't absconded as wily intoxicated folks have a habit of doing. asking her if she was still at the bar where we left her, she replied, simply, "city". immediately recognizing the foolishness of trying to get a drunk person to not only locate themselves, but be able to accurately spell and text it, i considered what she might mean. saratoga springs is a city, could she mean that she was still in the city? that's a bit vague. i consulted my drunk husband and oddly he was able to report back that there was a tavern across the street from where we left tara with 'city' in it's name. feeling satisfied, i cleaned up and waited for our little team to be regathered.
tara did return safely to the hotel room a few hours later, sent out a facebook update (i told you-she is a professional), quickly passed out and began loudly snoring. there was several rounds of someone or another getting up to turn off the air conditioner, then someone else getting up to turn on the air conditioner. despite this, the snoring and the frequent bathroom visits, we all seemed to get some functional sleep.
our circus of smart phones began signaling to us shortly before 8:00 AM. there appeared to be a crisis of sorts, one that required not only facebook posts but also text messages and voicemail. we had left our dog, crosbi and three cats in the competent over night care of adam's father, russ. responding to the calls to action, adam called his father learning that during an early morning walk with crosbi through the local field they encountered a skunk. crosbi was sprayed squarely in the face and the collateral spray came back to hit russ. both began vomiting, russ trying to wipe the spray out of crosbi's eyes. he led her back to our house about a block away, both retching and reeking. he bathed the dog in our bathroom tub, closed her in the bathroom to contain the damage then called us to report the event.

she doesn't like baths. fizzy, science-experiment type baths are no different.

we bid an early farewell to tara who decided to sleep in until checkout at noon. i did some quick google searches on the drive and we stopped for supplies before getting home. baking soda and hydrogen peroxide in hand, we could smell our house before we got out of the car.
i cannot appropriately describe the true smell of what met us when we opened our bathroom door and faced our poor mutt for the first time. i can tell you that direct skunk spray is much different and more potent than the scent you encounter when driving over road kill. the scent in our bathroom, and unfortunately soon through our entire small house, is much more peppery and toxic. it's overwhelming and suffocating.
it also bears noting that skunk musk is not at all conducive to nursing a hang over.
crosbi went outside for a bath and we proceeded to open every window and turn on every fan. we have lit incense and candles. we have "febreezed". we have wiped, bleached and mopped. there are little dishes of vinegar about, supposedly to absorb the scent. we have even baked cinnamon per the recommendation of "the internet". it seems to be working.
i suppose this is the type of adventure you get when you thumb your nose at fate as i did with my post yesterday. anytime i think that a night out could not possibly top previous experiences, i am sent a message by the universe. my message for this day is heard loud and clear, "always be ready for an adventure. life requires a sense of humor, fortitude, a strong stomach, true friends and family."
as always, the people you love make it worth all the trouble.
i expect this will be an adventure story that will be retold many times.

it's not the heat, it's the humidity.

it's warm. like sitting in melted butter warm. like only some girl who likes snow would whine about kind of warm.
to me, it's hot outside.
did i mention we don't have air conditioning?
remember, i live in upstate new york...on purpose. this weather is sapping the little bit of motivation i have. almost everything seems difficult to the extent of being impossible.  anything that touches me is likely to trigger great discomfort or potential violence.
in light of those negative affirmations, here are some positive things for you to read:

•due to a gross miscalculation on my part (hold on...it's really going to be a positive statement), i realized that we have actually hiked 32 of the 46 adirondack high peaks. somehow three peaks (south dix, dial and nippletop) got lost in the shuffle.  i never claimed to be very good at math, but figured i would have kept better track of something like this.  we're currently planning a backpacking trip and if the weather holds out, we'll be bagging three more peaks.  that 46r patch doesn't seem so far off after all.

•i'm starting to narrow down the design for my shoulder tattoo. if you're interested you can check out the first color draft over here. please give me feedback if you feel so inclined. i am open to any suggestions; except perhaps those that include unicorns, rainbows or tribal/chinese characters.

•i am actually running on the treadmill at the gym.  i was strictly confining myself to the elliptical and the stationary bike due to my hip injury.  i am now running about 4 miles each gym visit.  i am starting to add some incline and hope to be able to maintain a 6 mph pace soon.

any positive news to share on your end?

fragments.

sometimes in my internet wanderings i bookmark or tag a page, article or link that i think can generate a blog post. usually, i just forget about the link or don't have the inclination to "beef it up". i know this is what tumblr is for, but i refuse to start yet another internet "thing" to maintain. i'm scattered enough already.
so here's a run down of a few things clogging up my bookmarks and clippings folders.

•was there really a "little debbie"? who the hell is "chef boyardee"? you can find out if these brands (plus more) were real people or just marketing here. the Food Timeline site has a bunch of cool (albeit a bit foodie nerd) stuff.

•want to be a more conscientious consumer, but don't have the time to research it all? Good Guide is the answer to finding "safe, healthy and green products". you can look up products you already eat, use and buy to see how they rank or you can find better alternatives.

•if you didn't already know, please be careful using flea and tick "drops" on your pets. use only reputable brand products that would be sold at your veterinarian. most of the cheap stuff is straight pesticide and can (and has been) fatal for pets. the Center for Public Integrity's site has a page where you can search the product or the chemical ingredient and see if any incidents have been reported to the EPA. please be aware that there are some disturbing photos there.

•want to be grossed out? check out the FDA's list of "acceptable" defects (insect fragments, rodent hairs, mold, insect eggs, "mammalian excreta", etc.) in foods.

no words.

please be forewarned that this is heart wrenching. do not watch if you're having a particularly emotional or otherwise sad day. as a vegetarian (not vegan) this triggers a mixture of guilt and rage for me...

for serious?!?

please be advised that following this link will bring you to a youtube music video that is pretty nasty. not gory or obscene, but there's some foul language...
WTF? is this a real song? why on earth would someone want to sing about this?
"that's how a bitch get an eye swelled up" (!!!!!)
i am not trying to sound like a prude, but as a feminist and someone trying to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS this makes me want to cry a little.
please tell me this is a joke...albeit a really bad one.

enough to send any man into the fetal position.

so we finally watched teeth last night. you may recall that i referenced to the trailer in an earlier post.

i admit i had sort of forgotten about the movie until we stumbled across it on the movies-on-demand feature (a rip off mind you, but sometimes i'm just too impatient to wait for things to pop up at the library).

94 minutes later, with adam defensively holding his crotch, my mind was flooded with old-school feminist theory. i will spare you all of this, so that you can continue reading (and not be turned off to the movie).

overall, i really liked it. was she a heroine, a villain or a vigilante? severed penises? an attack dog named 'mother'? it could be analyzed into the ground for sure. i do think the movie was a bit harsh on the heterosexual male stereotyping; but straight guys don't get challenged enough anyway.

so if you want to have a fun time, watch this with your favorite male friend (he doesn't even need to be straight...) and watch his facial expressions (and the movie too...).

floors.

dining room carpet and paneling.

the dirt found under the dining room carpet!!!!!!!


















subfloor modern art.

in the end it's all worth it.

hold on a second while i vomit.

one of the most disgusting things i have ever seen.