(i am alive)

housekeeping.

i'm just as guilty as the next person of reading blogs mostly through a feed reader. so when i actually stopped by my own blog yesterday, i noticed the need to do some housekeeping with my link lists.
i deleted a few links to pages which haven't posted anything in the last 3+ months, but mostly i added some sites.

some noteworthy additions include:

•keri smith's, wish jar. i originally started following this blog when i began considering a return to illustration work. while i haven't exactly taken that jump yet, i continue to follow her blog as it is very inspiring; not just for artists, but for creativity in general.

•the trail cooking blog. i found this site when i started making my own backpacking food. the blog is part of the larger trail cooking website which links to a ton of very helpful information.

•sociological images. a great website that analyzes the images we see and information we receive everyday.

•information is beautiful. a site that further enforces my addiction to infographics.

•the bilerco project. an awesome site which "features LGBTQ activists, politicos, journalists, novelists, advice columnists, and video bloggers who are high-energy, inquisitive, eloquent experts in their professions."

•change.org. this an expansive website where you can get constantly updated information on a large variety of social and environmental issues. plus, it's a sharp and well designed web page.

there's a few more over there on the right. check 'em out and let me know if there's something you read on the regular that seems to match my sensibilities!

heavy stuff.

since my engagement, i have been struggling to find a comfort level with weddings, being a "bride", being a "wife" and marriage in general due to my strongly held beliefs about equality, feminism and heterosexism.
to be clear, i am enormously happy and am completely certain that adam and i are meant to be partnered for life. it was obvious to me early on that something was different about my relationship with adam; something comfortable and grounding. our strengths and weaknesses balance each other well, we share similar interests and life goals. we both knew we were in it for the long haul. neither of us are very traditional and since we don't want children, marriage was never a really big issue. but now that forming a legally recognized union is happily part of the plan, i have to negotiate a difficult path.
my feelings about marriage are complicated. i hold marriage in high regard even though i am not particularly religious. but i also discount marriage because it is an elitist club which is rooted in sexist traditions.
i feel more than a little bit guilty that i can marry my partner because i happened to have fallen in love with a man. i believe strongly in marriage equality and originally felt that i would not marry adam until any consenting and loving couple could marry. i now wonder what that choice accomplishes. i'm pretty sure my choosing to not marry my opposite sex life partner in protest to inequality isn't having any affect on changing laws. actually, the state of New York is probably getting a bigger chunk of my paycheck for this act of protest. i am slowly coming to the realization that my marrying a man isn't sabotaging my commitment to marriage equality, although it isn't assuaging my guilty feelings.
from a feminist perspective, the concept of the wedding is a veritable minefield. i am no militant, but i can see why some of the "traditions" associated with weddings could be triggering. a few examples being that there is a lot of implied ownership (what am i, livestock?), there is the word "obey" (i will not), and there is the white dress/virginity thing (no comment). ultimately, i will take out or adjust the parts of the wedding ceremony that are not aligned with my personal beliefs but i still struggle with conflicting feelings. is my wish to have my father walk me down the aisle undermining my principles, or is it a heartfelt gesture of respect for the man who was an integral part of making me the feminist i am today?
there is no easy solution to this conundrum and i know i will continue to wrestle with taking this exciting next step while maintaining my autonomy and using my privilege consciously.

an open letter to Senator Little.*

Dear Senator Little,

I am writing as a constituent of Glens Falls to request your support of marriage equality in New York.
While I understand this is a controversial issue; it is ultimately one of civil rights. The legal protections and recognition of committed couples should not be restricted only to those of opposite sexes.
I urge you as my elected representative to support marriage equality so that all loving New York families can be protected equally by their government. I will be watching throughout the year to see how you vote and advocate on this issue that means so much to me and my family.

Respectfully,

Reneé H.
Glens Falls, NY

*an edited version of the letter sent to my state senator. if you are a NY resident and feel that equal rights are essential, please contact your state senator immediately to let them know. tell them to support marriage equality! find your senator here and send them an email!

birthdays.

growing another year older...it is what we make it, yes?
i try hard to not engage in negative age talk about myself, but it certainly can be challenging. some days the less empowering effects of aging seem so much more obvious, rather than the knowledge and experience it brings.
i think about this now because it is time for two birthdays; my own 34th birthday and this blog's 2nd birthday.
here's to a new year of wisdom, growth and peace! and here's a link to find out some interesting but non-life changing information about your own birthday.

(click the photo for source)

hurricane mountain.

it's winter in the adirondack mountains!

we discovered this when hiking hurricane mountain today.

i got a very slow start, worsened by the fact that while short, the hike up hurricane is quite steep in parts.

there was more snow on the ground as the elevation got higher, and beyond about 3,000 ft there were patches of pretty thick ice. nothing a little careful stepping couldn't handle...it's not snowshoe season just yet.

at least not for another week or two...

one of my favorite things.

even though it signals the end of summer weather, flip flops and eating dinner on the porch, i look forward to going to the orchard to pick apples every fall. it's more than just a tradition. it makes me happy. maybe it's the sugar high from eating more apples in one day than i do the rest of the year, or maybe it's the fresh, hot and delicious cider donuts, but i love the annual trip to hick's orchard.

i never quite understand the folks that drive all the way out to granville just to go into the apple barn and grab an already picked bag of apples. there is nothing quite like going out into the orchard and picking them yourself.

when pulling into the orchard and after you sign the safety waiver, the orchard keepers always ask what type of apple you have come to pick in order to send you in the right direction. i usually say northern spy, but i know full well that we will be walking throughout the orchard to pick multiple different types. this apple variety indecision gets me into trouble because i never seem to be able to distinguish the different types of apples once i get walking around and eat a few. now, i can tell the difference between the easy ones, like red delicious (yuck!) and the green varieties, but the others all start to blend together. i kick myself every year for not bringing a little apple cheat sheet (something like this, except easily printable).

anyone have a resource they can direct me to?

wish i brought my mittens.

a quick trip up to the summit of black mountain on a chilly fall day.

the camera isn't doing the colors justice.

some folks choose to stay up here forever.

the windmill was unusually silent.

my hands were freezing.

adam holding up the finished sketch.

fall gardening.

it is officially the end of the growing season here in my backyard. i say that because today we cleared out the vegetable bed and prepped the soil for next years plantings. all of the compost we have been making for the last year went into the garden.
we also planted garlic for the 2010 harvest. this year i decided to skip the softneck varieties altogether. i find hardneck varieties to be much tastier and easier to peel. i have heard that hardneck garlic is more cold hearty than softneck garlic, although i have never noticed much of a difference.
adam made his annual round of leaf gathering. as our yard is predominantly surrounded by cedar trees, we need to "borrow" our neighbors fallen leaves for composting and mulching. not surprisingly, our neighbors don't seem much to mind.
a peek into my gardening journal...

gripe.

things have not exactly been copacetic in my corner of the world lately.

i have been letting some things slide; the biggest example being my gym attendance. for over a month i've been able to justify once weekly visits being "good enough". i will have to call my own bluff to stop this slow descent into lassitude.

in additon, ella's illnesses continue. to clarify, i'm speaking of her recent, seemingly minor upper respiratory infection not her unclarified and looming ailment necessitating weekly steroids. we took her to the vet immediately and she was given a time release antibiotic shot which lasts for two weeks. after almost three weeks she is still stuffy and sneezy. it's pretty terrible to watch; especially because there is little we can do. yet another trip to the vet is in order. i think adirondack animal hospital can name a wing after me or something by now.

to top it off, i seem to have picked up a little virus myself.
just in time for the weekend, of course.

grumble, grumble, grumble...

can't wait.

a little information.

they say that a little information can be dangerous. i agree. you know when you learn something and you wish you had never found out about it? then you can't stop thinking about it...
what...just me?
okay, whatever.
anyway, this is what happened to me earlier this week when i read this article on treehugger. mercury in mascara? really?!?
and to those of you who don't wear mascara, please stay with me. the article links to skin deep, a site maintained by the environmental working group. skin deep is a database of cosmetics and their safety based on the known (i.e. listed) ingredients of the product. the products listed vary from eyeshadow to baby care items to toothpaste and shampoo.
those that know me would understand that i am not a big cosmetics freak. my makeup regimen is limited to a little mascara, but i do have a minor obsession with lip balm. there is a whole section of lip balm listings and most of it is NOT pretty!
the site is easy to navigate. you can search by typing in the items you currently use or you can just browse the database. be careful though, you may wind up throwing out the contents of your bathroom!

you can't predict the weather.

we hiked big slide and the brothers today. we didn't originally plan on it, but wound up taking the loop; going up big slide from john's brook and back down the three brothers.