a little dialogue.

i realize i have been communicating via pictures on this blog for a little while. i thought i would throw some words at you to let you know what's been going on.
with the arrival of the month of march, it's hard to not project to the advent of spring. i am a north country girl at heart and love the winter, but i am ready to see the sun and spend time outside without the protection of multiple layers.
to add to the impatience, we are planning a vacation to sandbridge beach in virginia in may. we will be renting a condo for a week right on the atlantic ocean. the condo is across the street from the back bay federal wildlife refuge and we will be visiting at the same time that the loggerhead turtles come ashore to lay their eggs.
i have also taken a few big steps in regards to my artwork. first, i registered to take a course taught by the talented lilla rogers and am excited to learn and connect with other peers. second, i finally submitted to exhibit for our local third thursday art walk, sponsored by APE.
wish me luck!

back to work.

i am super pleased to have moved my studio back into it's renovated space! this will mark an end to my incessant renovation posting (which no one is happier about than me) and the beginning of creating art again.

various upgrades.

not much happening around here-except for a new floor and a new (hybrid) car!

prime.

finally, the studio renovation has progressed to place where i can lend a skilled hand. the caulking was finished yesterday and the first coat of primer went up today.
on a completely different note, check out my new blog header and let me know what you think.

apropos of nothing.

inevitably, whenever there is some lapse in my blog postings i question what the purpose of this blog really is.
the word 'blog' is now a commonly understood thing, with both its negative and positive connotations. there is plenty of online advice about how to have a 'successful' blog and gain a larger audience. [be sure to post at least three times weekly even if you have nothing to say! keep a consistent theme even though your life, talents and activities are multifaceted!] you can even 'earn money' from your blog. [harass your readers with advertisements! review products that no one really cares about!]
please excuse my cynicism here.
as an avid blog reader, i enjoy many sites that 'follow the rules'. i most appreciate the blog writers that allow a brief glimpse into their mind, talents and daily lives. while i vicariously enjoy other people's exotic experiences, what i really respect is the ability to honor the routine of daily life. most of our days are spent doing the ordinary, repetitious tasks that too easily steal our energy and our creativity. to have the ability to extract joy out of the mundane is a honed skill. when reading blogs i don't look for flamboyance or count the number of posts, i want honesty.
ultimately, keeping a blog is a personal thing. i tend to it because, for me, it's a place to honor events and record thoughts. this space and my flickr page both serve as memory guideposts that are made public for others to follow along if they so choose. there is no implied lesson. i don't feign any great wisdom. this is a documentary of a life and there is great value in that.

why i married him.

(excerpted from a real, unedited email communication with my husband. while i would believe the third to last line would have been snarky and sarcastic from most anyone else, somehow i believe he was being serious. incomprehensible.)
___________________________________________________________________

From: "me"
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 4:19 PM
To: "husband"
Subject: pms is the spawn of the devil
Importance: High

i am feeling that a ‘mental health’ day should be taken in honor of your birthday “week”.

what if we go to raul’s for dinner and talk about how to make our five days off into a better “vacation” and/or make plans to complete a house project also and/or i should probably go to the library to get art directors names and addresses from books/magazines seeing as i just ordered 60 more illustration promo postcards today.

also, we do probably need to talk about making plans for our “group camping trip” considering the fact that we’re halfway through june and there’s been no emails about dates, etc.

also, pms is awful and makes you stressed about everything.

____________________________________________________________________

From: "super patient husband"
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 4:23 PM
To: "cranky pants me"
Subject: RE: pms is the spawn of the devil

Sounds good to me and yes, pms does suck!  Library first and then raul’s for Mexican?

____________________________________________________________________

From: "nit-picky, super hot mess me"
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 4:26 PM
To: "the man who deserves multiple medals"
Subject: RE: pms is the spawn of the devil

yeah, well my rambling may have been confusing, understandably so.

the “trip” to the library will take a few hours, so that’s not happening tonight. i meant that would happen during our mini-vacation.

oddly, i also didn’t mention that we were taking a “mental health” day from the GYM but you assumed that, albeit correctly.

so, yes, raul’s tonight.

will you call to see if they take credit cards now?

(i’ll pay since it’s my mental health that’s at stake...well, considering your proximity to me, perhaps yours is at stake also.)

_____________________________________________________________________

From: "seriously awesome person"
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 4:31 PM
To: "crazy person"
Subject: RE: pms is the spawn of the devil

You're incredibly adorable when you have pms, let me just tell ya.  Raul’s excepts visa/mastercard.  See you in 30

a flimsy curtain.

oh, hi.

*crickets chirping*

this past weekend was too full of living life to include time to reflect on and write about life.
my only regret is the lack of photographic evidence.
but shouldn't my memory be enough?
what about the evidence that our human memory is incredibly unreliable?
how does that impact how we see ourselves when we reflect back on our life events?

"a flimsy curtain separates memory from imagination." elizabeth loftus

mid-winter cleanse.

just stopping in to apologize for any glitchy behavior here on the blog today. i have been doing some much overdue housekeeping. the links on the right, especially the art blogs, have been completely updated. if you find the time, definitely check out some of the super talented folks on that list.
it feels good to dust out the corners!

capturing time.

this sketch pretty much summarizes how i have been spending this long weekend. after last  weekend's holiday, it's nice to kick back with no scheduled events or expectations to meet.
a new year always lends itself to reflection and i have not been immune to this. in looking back, it's often easier to see trends that weren't so transparent at the time. for me, 2011 was mainly defined by wedding preparation and finding my own understanding of the concept of "being married". i suspect that the latter will be a lifelong process of reevaluation, growth and change.
although i shy away from formal "resolutions", i do plan to focus more on my illustration and personal artwork. as with most things, it's a matter of capturing the time and making the best use of it, not just thinking about it but doing it.

"This time, like all times, is a good one, if we but know what to do with it." Ralph Waldo Emerson

view from space.

Earth | Time Lapse View from Space, Fly Over | NASA, ISS from Michael König on Vimeo.

i realize that many people find it difficult to justify spending very large amounts of money on space exploration, especially as it seems to pose no real benefit to most of our daily lives. this article notes that the $196 billion dollars spent on space missions (spread out over 40 years) is only slightly more than the $182 billion dollar bailout of the single financial giant, AIG. this article posits that U.S. citizens spend more money on pizza every year than they do on space exploration.
regardless of your view this video is pretty awesome; the lightening and aurora seen from above is amazing!
(for the record, i would rather spend billions of dollars on science and learning than war. i can't find any personal justification for the latter.)

diving into the mundane.

it's a gorgeous day; a sunday none the less. sunday's are the only day of the week where it feels completely okay to lounge around.
not that there has been much lounging around going on in this house lately. today we spent some time taking care of the day-to-day essential household upkeep that has been neglected in lieu of escort cards, vendor payments, cake toppers, timeline freak-outs and other wedding logistic shenanigans.
i spent two hours fighting back the weeds that have taken over the garden. the perennials are in need of division but that will have to wait until later. all i could manage was to dead head the whole lot which was more of a dance to avoid the bees. my arch enemy, the neighbors grapevine, continues to slowly destroy our lilac trees and the rotting fence that divides our properties. it seems to grow faster the more i attack it. yet i still engage in the battle.
gardening and diving into it's mundane activities is good for me right now.
it's settling and grounding, if at least for a moment before i jump back into the whirlwind.

it's a crazy ride.

you know that feeling when you're so tired that your eyes burn and your stomach is a little off? you can't really concentrate and you feel like you're moving through mashed potatoes? did i lose you at the mashed potato part?
well, anyway, that's how i feel right now.
i know, i know...
it's like a broken record. we were just here a week ago, but it's the sign of a well spent two days off work.
life is a funny cocktail though and it's not all sweet. we are just getting past a very scary event that happened almost two weeks ago when our good friend wrecked his motorcycle and was air lifted 50 miles away to the nearest trauma center. it was a classic late night phone call with little assurances and too many frightening details. thankfully, he is making an amazingly speedy recovery and we were able to spend some relieving time together at his family's camp yesterday.
one minute you're planning a wedding and the next you're wondering if a most important person will be alive to witness your union.

time goes by.

shadow (pencil sketch in moleskine)

i am spending less time here on the blog lately.
i never seem to have the time, or perhaps the discipline, to post throughout the week.
i do have thoughts i would like to grab and capture here, but those moments are fleeting and usually don't come accompanied by a laptop or internet connections.
frankly, most times, living life is just more absorbing than recording life. it's only when there are open, thoughtful breaks that i have enough time to reflect and elaborate.
i wonder how writers manage it; always being able to draw up experiences in such vivid detail even when canyons of time seem to have built up. if it's anything like creating visual art, it's about practice.
yeah, practice.
and probably talent.

be afraid.

surprise, surprise.
it's raining again.
and it's raining hard. i normally love it when it storms, but i've had a three day weekend and have been trapped inside the whole time.
luckily, this has given us an ample opportunity to focus our attentions on wedding minutia. i say 'luckily' both seriously and sarcastically.
before i go further let me make this clear, this blog will NOT become a wedding blog. to those not even slightly interested in weddings, let alone mine and adam's, bear with me. i can empathize. before i got engaged, i would have rather poke my eyes out with dull sticks than listen to the blow-by-blow of wedding planning. quite frankly, sometimes i still feel that way...especially when i catch myself getting caught up in it. it's a strange balance to find; the enjoyment of the process, the anticipation for the 'big event' and maintaining a safe distance from the crazy, commercial and sociological aspect of weddings.
but we are in the final months of planning a major life event and the truth is that we are very excited. the more of the details that come together, the more real it all seems. this weekend we designed and ordered the welcome dinner invites, got a contract for sound equipment rentals, updated the website and are 80% done with the wardrobes.
after all, if i can't write about it here, then what good is having a blog? plus, i trust you will all keep me in check!

doldrums.

adam cooking something sure to be delicious.

recently it feels like things are moving at the speed of light and in slow motion at the same time. i'm no physicist but i'm pretty sure that's not possible. it seems that i have a task list a mile long and am always working on something but when asked what i've been up to, the answer is always, "not much".
it's times like these when you take inspiration from where ever you can find it; like here, here, here and here. and you know i can always get inspired by food and recipes like this, this and definitely this.
speaking of food, what's for dinner?

short attention span.

.waiting patiently for completion.

it's definitely late february. i have a pretty serious case of bored-apathy. that's what i call the feeling of needing to do something but being to lazy to do it, let alone figure out what it is.
i did successfully (re)launch my portfolio website: reneeleigh.com. the content isn't final, but i am just happy to have finally gotten it off the ground. slow progress is still progress!
i also received an advance copy of the moral lives of animals written by dale peterson via librarything's early reviewers program. it's a pretty thick text and with a quick skimming, reminds me of an environmental ethics course i took in college. i'll likely post the review here as well as on my librarything profile if you're curious how it turns out.

thundersnow.

i am here perched in the studio with a mug of strong black tea. my mind is a melange of different thoughts, none of which seem to be taking priority. perhaps my mental space is a metaphor for the weather we have been experiencing. i enjoy the winter weather as it makes me appreciate the little things more poignantly; being warm, eating home cooked meals and curling up with the animals.
i spent much of yesterday establishing my portfolio website. i had run into a significant glitch and only realized my error this morning. i am certainly no website developer, but i am trudging through. now i only need to put some illustration work on the site. more to come on that later.
in other news, i did find time for a quick painting yesterday which i have put in the shop. i hope to clear my mind of website mapping, domain names and hosting and get some more art done today before returning to "work" tomorrow.

tidbits.

today was our first day at our new, purple & yellow fitness club.  it was sort of like being the new kid at school.  after two years at the same gym, i felt a little like a lost puppy.  i can honestly say that after only one visit, it was the right choice.  our old gym was turning into a bit of a dump.  the equipment was in poor repair and the bathrooms were far from clean.  most importantly, the new gym costs 60% less than we had been paying.
on another note, i put some small original paintings in the shop today.

jumble.

i've slowly been working on adding items to my etsy shop.  i have also created a facebook page; renee.leigh.art.  stop by and "like" me if you are so inclined!
it's difficult to set aside enough time (or as much as i would like) to make prints, create new work and generally learn the ropes of creating, marketing and selling art.  thank goodness etsy is such an incredible and supportive community, because this would be much more overwhelming otherwise.
it's not realistic that i be able to stop working a full time "day job" any time in the near future; especially while planning and saving for our wedding.  i still need time to rebuild my illustration portfolio, gather contacts and market myself.  right now i have been focusing a lot of time on my personal work just to get back in the creative habit. 
additionally, i'm not ready to stop being a case manager.  i anticipate that when the time comes, leaving human services work to be "an artist" will be a difficult transition.

day two.

happy two thousand eleven!
isn't it exciting?
no really, please remember that january 1st is not just another day, it's a NEW year; a time for making big expansive promises to yourself and others that you may or may not keep!
what makes the first day of the gregorian calendar so important that it is a better time to reform yourself than any other day of the year?  would it be more productive to constantly re-evaluate yourself and your goals on a daily basis rather than once every 365 days?  i am not sure, but it is sure fun and often inspiring to hear everyone's resolutions.
i firmly believe that self reflection and setting personal goals is essential.  i prefer setting humble, everyday goals and relishing those small successes.  little steps always take you down a longer path and small changes accumulate over time.
don't get me wrong, new years is actually one of my favorite holidays.  it is relatively meaningless, without a gigantic tangle of religious or political subtext.  new years eve is a harmless excuse to celebrate your having survived another year, imbibe, over indulge and be grateful for your friends and family.
i spent my new years eve as the sober driver.  i enjoy a few drinks but am rather persnickety about mixing alcohol and massive hunks of steel moving at high speeds.  i love my friends and want them to stay alive; even the ones who persistently want to poison me with shots of strong liquor.
being the sober person in a bar full of intoxicated people in the wee hours of new years day is a bewildering experience.  my non-scientific observations show that it is a pretty universal theme that drunk people think they are acting much funnier and sexier than reality proves.  luckily, people who are intoxicated have a lower standard for funniness and sexiness than they do when less alcoholically challenged. simple tasks such as getting into a car, urinating in a socially acceptable area or keeping your head inside a moving vehicle become exceptionally difficult, if not impossible, for adam and my friends those with bellies full of adult beverages.
i am happy to say that everyone under my wing returned home safely, although one little bird spent the first day of his new year recovering on the couch. 
every day is an adventure, how lucky to start a new one every morning!