emotional circus.

it has been one of those gut twisting, humbling, scary, nervous wreck kind of weeks for me.
all is well with my own self, but my animals (read: children) are not quite so lucky.
it started two weekends ago with our dog, crosbi. we took her out for a doggie day on the town; trip to petsmart and the like. later at home, relaxing on the couch, i noticed odd twitching. i thought it was hiccups, but after closer inspection i could tell it was something else. it was just on one side of her body and she was awake. it could have just been a doggie dream, but instead it was an emergency trip to the vet. by the time we arrived, she was fine. no problems found during the exam. as soon as we got her home, she had another "seizure".
fast forward one week. imagine us getting ready for an overnight visit from two good friends and their dogs. during the preparations i noticed some odd behavior from ella, our siamese cat. she was having trouble using her back legs and seemed...dizzy. i laid on the bathroom floor with her and a heavy sense of dread came over me.
we raced her to the vet. we didn't even call in advance this time. i said i thought she had a stroke and staff came out from the back immediately. they whisked her out of my arms and told us to stay out front. we waited for an eternity (about 10 minutes). a tech told us that ella would need to stay for the afternoon to have blood work done. again, by the time we arrived, ella was acting normally.
am i crazy? do they think we are poisoning our animals?
we left the vet in great distress. both adam and i were certain that the outcome was not going to be good. ella is 12 years old but otherwise in good health. she is fed only premium food and is kept inside. but sometimes, your gut just tells you something. then your head can't shake the idea.
we were told that the vet would call between 1 and 4 PM. tara and mel arrived with their dogs; chester and pele. thank goodness for their visit. i know that their presence kept adam and i on sane ground.
around 3:30 the phone rings-Dr Moger. ella's bloodwork shows high calcium levels which normally indicates lymphoma. racing thoughts and words follow...chemotherapy/steroids/xrays/tumors/expensive/prognosis? we decided to have ella kept overnight to have an xray to look for tumors. we were kept in excellent and compassionate company by our dear friends, but we cried ourselves to sleep that night.
the next day we learn that the xrays show nothing. we take ella home. she is now on steroids. we will return next week for more blood. much googling has ensued to research feline lymphoma and high blood calcium.
ironically, ella and crosbi are "back to normal". i wish i could say the same for myself. my stress level has skyrocketed. i feel like my insides are jittering. i wonder if everyone can tell when they see me...
right now, i am just glad to have the animals here at home. we will take it one day at a time.
and damn if we won't love the shit out of them...
oh, and if you need a vet, i highly recommend the angels at Adirondack Animal Hospital.


  1. When shadow was a puppy he came out of his crate, staggered around, landed in his water dish and was foaming at the mouth. It is the ONLY time I ever called Dan out of work to help me deal with anything- I was a mess. The doctor gave him a steroid shot not knowing what the heck was wrong with him and 5 hours later he was trotting around the back yard as if nothing happened. still the vet refers to that visit, not knowing what kind of episode he had but happy with his somewhat miraculous and quick recovery.

    I am glad Ella is back to "normal". The fact that you are having such a hard time is a testiment to what a great companion she has been to you...and you to her!

    The question is can both Ella and Crosbi share the couch with you at the same time? Enjoy :)

  2. Renee, I am so sorry to hear about your babies!! Not knowing is so frustrating and really makes you think its the worst. My friend had a dog that had a seizure condition and he lived forever. My sist-in-law's parents have a beautiful pit bull that had a seizure or stroke. They could never determine what it was. He lost the use of his back legs for awhile, but has made made a 98% recovery.
    My point being don't assume the worst.
    While I am typing this, Violet is walking around the living room with no pants or diaper on with the squishy ring from her little potty on her head, telling me its time for soccer....

  3. I'm so sorry about crosbi and ella. I know what you mean by the jangly nerves - if our pets aren't okay, how can we be okay - and even when they seem okay how do you shake the feeling that they may not actually be. it's an ongoing struggle - here's to no more worrying and many more years of good health from them both.

  4. i am thinking of you and hoping ella and crosbi are doing better. poor darlings!

  5. So sorry to hear about the animals babies. Waiting stinks, and not knowing is just the worst. Hope all works out for the absolute best, and best wishes for it. Love to Ella and Crosbi.


you got somethin' to say?